JB Writes Too

Everytime I catch a bus it takes a tiny piece of my soul away…(09/04/09)

Everytime I catch a bus
It takes a tiny piece of my soul away
So eager I am to be transported to
A new idea
A fresh environment
The place that calms my mind
that I call ‘home’

But the drudgery
of this machine
chips away
slowly, like old age
kills me
bit by bit
inch by inch
as sullen face
after sullen face
enter and exit
the tomb on wheels

Why kill me with the past?
why does the universe insist?
Yeah have the guy
who thinks he knows me
sit behind

and the one who I thought
I loved
sit opposite

My palms sweat
My heart races
Frustration overtakes me
As I feel surrounded
in this turbulent
metal coocoon
I sink deeper in my seat
read anything that keeps my head
from looking up

Grey clouds hover
over the city
enclosing the grief I feel
Exaserbating the obvious
my breath
fogs the windows

Disembark! Please!
Just leave!
Leave me to my own serenity
Which escapes me now and has caught a train

Or a luxury yacht to a faraway place
“You’ll be right, girl!”
My normal self laughs and scurries away
In a tropical shirt, broad smile
and ‘happy go lucky’ charm

And leaves me
The grey shell
My former self
A tragedy
Insignificant
to fend off the human demons
Who are oblivious to my pain

A smalltown nightmare
All the reasons to leave

The curiosity of a female
Lovestruck and then burned
As they allight the bus
One and then two
Away, away
and then
alone I am
Music my friend
Faithful and familiar
And I slowly
redeem dignity
and retain the shattered fragments
As I re-live a broken heart

Suddenly
I hear New York
call my name
Even if it is
Only in a dream